Thursday, August 7, 2014

Roots Gotta Grow Deep For The Tree to Rise

Aloha Dear Family,

         Thank you for being here as my support team, family, lovers, friends, and as fellow beings in this evolution of integration and gratitude manifestations. We are all transforming and I want to share my journey of transformation with you all to help inspire, to help encourage, and to help our growth of connectedness. Alot has been going on in my life and I have been following my heart while remaining true to my core. Thankfully, I am together with the feminine Goddess I Am. It has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, knowing the journey is the funnest part of this life, which is another reason I want to share. I am pleased to say that I am headed back to Kauai, Hawaii on September 3rd. Earlier this year I separated with a dear lover because I felt like our assignment was complete. I was also no longer honoring my soul purpose in South Carolina. I moved to Kauai and lived there from February until April and had a growing journey there.  By April 22nd, (while the lunar eclipse and crazy stuff happening all over) I flew back into Asheville Nc to experience this rollercoaster of a life in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I had to fully close some doors in relationships that were no longer serving me. All in love for each person from the deepest of my being. It was hard to understand because of course there will be pain there.... although knowing the separations were very healthy and honorable on both sides.

Coming back here has allowed me to see that I am not fulfilling my life purpose by choosing to work at places I had previous experience in(serving and customer service). I am already an inspirational leader and motivational speaker and am excited about the path I have in this field. I learned that doing what I love and loving what I do leaves room for continued miracles. I came back to the mountains to realize that all the answers already live inside me and I am powerful enough to hire myself as my own boss. I am so thankful for all the people that are in my life also doing what they love. We are creating win win situations that help create support teams of entrepreneurs. We have each other to learn/grow from, to ask questions and to build a supportive community to grow in. I am courageous to let myself live where I feel my heart is the most happiest. I will also speak up when no one else may have the courage to do so and I will be strong so others may lean on me for support. By coming back and closing the doors of energies that no longer served me I allowed myself to really receive love. To fully receive gifts when they are given and to receive the abundance that is already present in each moment. I share because I care and learn that through communication we evolve and do what most fear to do. I am the voice of every person that may not be able to find the words of remembrance and I love to do so. This is my soul purpose and feels great to finally realize after 27 years. 
When I flew to Kauai this year I felt in my heart that it was my home and when I was called to come back I was confused, lost and scared. I knew I did not fully know why I was coming back although I did know that Great Mystery would inform me with perfect timing. I had an inner trust in the flow and to the surrender of what was and that really allowed me to listen to the call. By coming back to the mainland I have allowed myself to trust my inner ear,  to trust my intuition and to trust Mother Gaia; also all her creatures that are always giving signs. During this integration, I have literally cut everything I own in half now only possessing a few boxes of pictures/precious items/clothes and feel great about that. I shaved my hair releasing old habits and energetic patterns that were causing discord in my life and those around me.(see I'm BALD blog written back in May) I have been able to realize that I am worthy of working for people that truly honor me as a human being and not someone who is making them money. I got to volunteer all summer for The "Farmacy" Juice and Health Tonic Bar in West Asheville and am super blessed to have gotten to experience the love that happens there. I love Judy and Carl and will always refer anyone there, because they really do care about every person that supports them. Although,  I did worked a few jobs in Asheville that were not serving me on my path, so I moved forward and learned some lessons. I also realized that I was not honoring myself on my path by paying rent to an apartment complex in which I did not know where the profits were going to. Meanwhile I have been couch-surfing and doing work exchanges that create win win situations for all parties. I chip in financially where financial need is fair and I am always giving/receiving equally in every situation. By being money conscious, I have been asking before purchasing or monetary engagement, who's energy is my energy benefiting? My whole perceptions are changing by shifting my thoughts toward life and being involved with life. If you have been reading about my life, you have learned I have not always been this way which is part of what is. This is all apart of the transformation I have been going through since December 21 2012. It has built my strength to be more fully aware of where I am choosing to give/receive energy. I now support local businesses, buy from local farmers markets, live in a chemical free environment, volunteer with the community, and encourage others to inspire as well. We are the ripples in the Universe that truly do witness miracles in every present moment.

I also got to attend an Earth skills gathering here in NC called Firefly and learned all about beekeeping, nature navigating 101, tantra sex, wild nature making clay pottery, and let go of self doubt in the fire during the ceremony of releasing. Gratifly Transformational Festival was another amazing experience I had and help out with the water filtration system with Go Fresh House. I danced to Zach Deputy and Rising Appalachia, chanted Hare Krsna with family, drank tea in the Tea Infusion Lounge, got healed in the New Earth Sacred Temple with a shamanic healer with family, and got to hug and grow with a Grandmother Elder from a Native American Tribe. I was able to sweat two times in a lakota tribal ceremony on sacred land in Fairview NC. The dear servant of humanity, Adam,  pours the lodges and am super blessed to have met him. Upon returning to Asheville I was able to receive a shamanic healing from Shamanic Healer, Benjamin Bernstein and healed some layers of past sexual trauma I have been through in this life and past lives. I am also attending Soulshine Festival in Burnsville Nc next week on August 15th.

WOW,  all of this I am so thankful for, and it reminds me of who I am and why I am here. I am super thankful for reminders from support teams who I call soul family. I have been being reminded to be gentle on myself and not be so hard at times. The bottom line being we are not in control at all and when we surrender, it allows us to be whole, feel pain and fully feel our emotions, instead of pushing them away or resisting emotions. We are just vessels of this love to pour forth from. This is why it is so vital to be true to our hearts being that our hearts are the reason we are alive. I am where I am today by following the sweet small voice of my heart and feeling the emotions of my higher self to help guide me with all eyes open. We are here to journey along with families, to grow and learn together.

No matter how hard things get, remember to keep walking and to live your life as if you are walking on fire in moments of challenges. Once you stop walking, you and the people behind your has to stop and endure the heat, so instead of stopping and hesitating, keep walking until the coldness of Mother Earth's heartbeat saves you. Keep walking until the challenges become welcomed and fear becomes the very thing that drives us and becomes our servant.  I feel like for the past two years I have been traveling and floating around like a tree seed in the wind just waiting to be buried by love of the Universe to grow roots in the tree that I am. I am excited to meet up with Kauai again, start growing and surrendering to the Universal flow in harmony with the creatures that inhabit this being.

In Kauai I look forward to building or contributing in organic gardens all over the island. I am excited to reunite with Soul family that I have there and excited to grow with them while my roots grow. I am super excited to meet Gates, Alisha and G's newborn and to help out at the juice bar on the west coast if needed. Also to see Macky Ray and say hi to all the people who helped guide me in the right direction. I also look forward to attending the Wild Sacred Women Retreat in Maui on October 17 during my 27th birthday for one whole week. I am super stoked about this because I never attended a retreat before and I know I will benefit largely from it! On my journey I have realized that there will come a time when I am ready to settle down and grow some roots and that time has arrived!  I am thankful, oh so thankful and am here to remind you that when you remain thankful for all the small things, the larger gifts come pouring in. When we honor our heart and our soul purpose of being alive at this time we are honor Our home, Mother Gaia, honoring our families, ancestors, and honoring all of life. If anyone has any questions or wants to talk to me about some of the tools and resources I used to get where I am today,call or email. I am literally an open book willing to help anyone who comes to me. Mahalo Ke Akua and Aloha Dear Family. See you all soon!!

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